Pain can be a powerful teaching mechanism. We make a mistake, experience pain, and learn to do something different. However, as we go on in life, it can have negative consequences and impact our decision making. As we face new decisions, we consider consequences may feel anticipated regret as we approach decisions. 

Anticipated regret can cause us to be anxious, which inhibits our ability to process choices and analyze risk versus reward. That isn’t going to lead to better decisions.

Anticipated regret can also cause us to avoid decisions. Unfortunately, regret from inaction only delays the pain and leads to more intense and longer lasting pain. Avoiding decisions isn’t the answer. 
In order to achieve all that we want to in life, we need to make good decisions. So, here are three techniques that will help you gain confidence in your decision making.

Construct Your Core Values
Just like businesses, a set of explicit personal core values can help you navigate decisions. A company uses core values to guide decisions because they know that, even if the immediate decision doesn’t turn out right, they are focused on long-term objectives. It is the same for you. You’ll be better equipped to manage the regret of a decision if it was made based on core values. 

Creating a set of core values doesn’t need to be laborious. Reflect on your actions and how you’ve made decisions in the past. This will reveal many of your core values. You may also choose some “aspirational” values… ones that may not be evidenced in your past decisions, but you want to incorporate into future decisions. For instance, one of mine is money does not equal happiness. I want that core value to guide more and more of my decisions because I believe it will bring long-term success. There are many online resources and lists of values you can reference for determining your own set of core values.

Sometimes, the decision isn’t about core values. Or, it is just a big, hard decision. Try the next technique…

Deconstruct the Decision
When approaching a decision and you don’t know which way to go, try and deconstruct the decision. Take a step back and ask yourself, “is this the decision I need to make right now?”

Maybe you can make some smaller decisions that will give you more information. As an example, when I am working with a hiring manager that can’t decide on a hiring decision, we often deconstruct the decision. We talk about if we need to do an additional interview or ask for a practice exercise… something that can give us more information to make a better big decision. Sometimes just the act of deconstructing the decision is enough; other times we go through and make a series of smaller decisions.
Regardless of decision making techniques, in life you’re going to make decisions you regret. I have. In order to manage that regret and continue to press forward, I use this technique. 

Reconstruct the Decision Moment
I made a decision years ago to close a business. Today, I regret the decision. When I’m tempted to dwell on it, though, I reconstruct what was going on when I made the decision. I remember the season of life, the financial pressures, my emotional, physical, and spiritual state. I remember the other factors that I was considering when I made that decisions.

I have compassion on myself, because it was a tough decision. That compassion allows me to analyze and learn from the situation, which helps me make better decisions in the future.
At the time, given the circumstances, it was a good decision. Reconstructing the decision moment allows for self-affirmation. I can make good decisions, and that confidence is vital for me to press forward and continue to make good decisions.

If you’re agonizing over a past decision, try and reconstruct the decision moment. Reflect on what you can learn and affirm that you did the best you could at the time. If you could predict the future, maybe you would have chosen different, but you can’t. See if that doesn’t help you feel ready to make good decisions going forward.

Be Confident
I’m sure you’ve got decisions ahead, important ones, and you are qualified to make them. My hope is that, using these techniques, you become more confident, make better decisions, and experience greater success in all aspects of your life. You’re meant to do something special.

QUESTION: What was a decision you regret and what lesson can you take away from it? I’d love to hear about it! Email me at brian@livelifeintegrated.com