My “integrated life” philosophy came into being as we raised our kids. We were busy and strapped for time, but we still wanted to do more. We always asked ourselves how we could integrate different circles of our lives together. It led to simple things like including more friends in our hiking activities, working while travelling, and enjoying kids events as family time.
Related to this, there is an important trend right now encouraging people to be authentic. It means being our true self in all situations and relationships. It is hard not to segregate who we are into different versions of ourselves depending on the people we’re around. We put on one persona when we’re at work, another when we’re with friends, and another when we’re at home. To be more authentic, we need to counteract these natural tendencies. An integrated life philosophy can help.
In order to be your whole self in all situations, you need to have some awareness to the types of relationships that exist. To start, think through people in these relational circles.
- Friends
- Family
- Romantic
- Professional
Tony Robbins says there are six human needs that are the basis for our relationships (https://www.tonyrobbins.com/stories/date-with-destiny/creating-fulfilling-relationships/). They are
- Certainty
- Variety
- Significance
- Connection and Love
- Growth
- Contribution
In order for us to be ourselves and be authentic, we need to be aware of our needs and where we can expect to have those needs met. Go through the groups of people you identified and think about how they meet your needs in these different areas. You will find there are some relationships that meet your needs and some relationships that don’t (and maybe don’t need to).
There are no decisions you need to make or specific actions you need to take. The point this week is to think about your relationships and needs in a more structured way. This small exercise may open up insight into expectations and ideas for further developing relationships.
I hope your Sunday is full of time with people that are fulfilling and you are able to be your whole self.