Roles are simply the parts we play in life. Consider what someone might tell you about themselves:

“I’m a Support Specialist and I manage a team of 3. I’ve been working at XYZ company for the last 5 years and there are 2 other specialists in our department. I’ve been married for 15 years and have 2 beautiful children. We live in Portland, Oregon, near my parents. I love skiing and go to Sun Valley every year with a group of close friends. I attend a local Methodist church and sing in the choir.”

How many roles did you identify? I count at least 11: Support Specialist, Manager, Employee, Husband, Father, Son, Friend, Oregonian, Methodist, Church Member, and Singer.

Now think about your own life. You can probably come up with way more than 11 roles. And the more you think about it, the more you’ll come up with.

I define “living an integrated life” as “bringing your whole self to everything you do.” It is at this Roles level that we can get very practical with that. To start, think about some of your roles and analyze them from two perspectives.

• First, what is the importance of the role to you and your life? For instance, the role of “Father” is more important than the role of “Friend.”
• Second, does the role give you energy or drain energy? I don’t mean dealing with negative situations in a particular role, like discipling your children, but rather the role as a whole.

Now classify your roles as important or not and energizing or not. You can use that classification to gain clarity on designing an integrated life using the matrix below.

Roles that drain your energy and are not important should be deprecated.

• These are roles that you want to consider phasing out. You might not cut them off right away, but as you make changes you stop supporting them. In software, to deprecate a feature means “to withdraw official support for or discourage the use of in favor of a newer or better alternative.” Existing product versions will support the feature, but new versions won’t. You want to do the same thing with these roles.

Roles that drain your energy and are important should be recast.

• There are necessary and important roles we need to fill to be a contributing part of family, society, and life. They aren’t always enjoyable. They don’t need to be, but it doesn’t mean you need to white-knuckle your way through them, either.
• You can recast a role by simply renaming it. I know, a title change isn’t the same as a promotion. However, a name change can influence our perspective and our behavior that results in positive outcomes.
• Another way to recast a role is to find ways to bring other parts of your manifested self (interests, hobbies, etc.) into the role so that you can enjoy it more. That’s the essence of living life integrated.

Roles that give us energy and are not important should be integrated.

• It is easy to trivialize these roles. You might think, “I don’t need to be spending my time on that.” On the contrary, these are the roles you want to get as much mileage out of as possible.
• You do that by integrating these roles with other areas of your life. For instance, for me, one of the roles in this category is Foodie. I enjoy trying new food and experimenting with new restaurants or menu selections. As an introvert, meeting new people, especially in a business context, is draining. One thing I do when networking is to try out new restaurants.

Roles that give us energy and are important should be prioritized.

• These are roles you know are important and probably come easy to you. You are good at these roles and experience success. They should not be taken for granted, though. Prioritizing these roles means you are continuing to learn and pushing yourself to grow.
• Not everyone gets energized by the same things. The important roles that energize you can truly be a gift you provide others. They are your superpower. When you invest in them, they energize and excite you, which will open new opportunities.

Remember, it only takes small changes to start having big shifts. You have a lot of roles you play in life, so start with analyzing a couple and making some adjustments. Next, we talk about the outermost circle, the Environment. Until then, make Monday awesome!

Brian