“I wish somebody would have told me babe, that someday these will be the good old days”– Macklemore

Hello From Japan
As I mentioned before, I’m in the process of making some great memories. All my kids are in the Japanese Immersion Program in Anchorage, Alaska. My twin boys have just graduated from high school after spending 13 years learning Japanese. As a graduation gift, we planned a trip to Japan with them for their “final test.” 

Since this month’s theme is documenting life, I intend to record things that happen on this trip and be able to relive the experiences. I haven’t had a lot of time to write, but I am trying to capture the details of each place we visit, even just in a rough form, and later I will write it up more completely. Even doing this step of creating a rough outline, I am surprised at how many details I recall and add to the memory. 

Define Meaning
I’ve been thinking about how memory works and if we can influence how we remember things, either positively or negatively. When we create memories, we encode our experiences through one or more methods: visual, acoustic, semantic, or tactile (https://bokcenter.harvard.edu/how-memory-works).

When you take some time to write about your experiences, you get a chance to reflect on what happened and how you interpret the experience. It seems to me that is a form of semantic encoding and a place we have a chance to influence how we remember events.

I once heard a speaker on leadership state the job of a leader is to provide meaning to the work. If you agree, then your job in leading yourself is to provide meaning to your activities and experiences. Taking some time to write and reflect on your experiences will help you understand and associate meaning to them, which will impact the semantic encoding of those memories so that, when you recall them, they will have appropriate significance and impact. 

Recognize What is Happening
This family trip to Japan could be a fun trip with some cool experiences. However, there are a lot of other things going on. 

• The boys are experiencing a tangible benefit from their years learning Japanese as they are not only able to communicate with locals, but they are getting lots of positive feedback about their speaking.
• This is a marker of a major transition. They are leaving high school and going to have to forge the next part of their life, which will be quite a bit different and require more self-direction.
• Our relationships will be changing. We will always be mom and dad, but we recognize that it won’t be the same. It is exciting and sad at the same time, and is worth reflecting on.

As I’ve thought about the stories I will write about this trip, it has also impacted how I interpret events as they happen. It is easier to recognize the larger context of events. For example, my son and I got in an argument about which train station we should be at to make a connection. He had navigation responsibility that day, but I got frustrated and anxious and tried to take over. I realized our relationship is evolving and needs to continue to evolve and I apologized for not deferring to him and arguing with him.   

Build
Today, consider how you will actively build memories. Building memories isn’t just an doing an activity, going to an event, or taking a trip; it is how you decide to remember it. You can influence the semantic encoding by creating meaning and recognizing the bigger picture, which will influence you, your relationships, and your life.

This is a holiday weekend for those in the United States. Spend some time thinking about the barbecues, camping trips, and picnics you’ll be going to. Beyond the event, what is the larger context? What is happening and what will it mean to you and those you are close to? What does Memorial Day mean for those around you and how can you help them build positive memories?
To all those that have served and their families, thank you!

Brian