As a disclaimer: Writing is a hobby for me and narrative therapy is a a personal interest, but I’m not formally trained. Your mental health is important. If you think you have a mental illness, treat it as you would a physical ailment and talk to a professional. If you like the ideas you read here, ask them about using narrative therapy. The information below is based on general research on the web, personal experience, and opinion.

Quick Intro to Narrative Therapy
Officially, Narrative Therapy was developed in the 1980 by Michael White and David Epston. However, I’d argue that was just when it was codified as a treatment option used by professionals. It has essentially been around forever in the form of storytelling, and specifically when we tell our own stories. When we tell our story, we are able to see ourselves more objectively, gain insight into our journey, and become empowered to take action. 

The three main ideas White and Epston identified with Narrative Therapy are that it is respectful, it is non-blaming, and the client (i.e. you) is the expert. As a person engages in the the therapy, they are able to better identify their talents and skills so they can handle situations in ways consistent with their values. 
Sounds good, doesn’t it? I think so. I also think it has value for all of us, not just someone who is seeking counseling. Here are a couple ideas to try and implement Narrative Therapy concepts in a Simple Sunday kind of way.

Sortof Easy
Something you can try right now is called the Externalization Technique. Start by picking something you don’t like about yourself. Sadly, for most of us, this is easy. One that pops in to my mind is how impatient I am. I get impatient and say something harsh; then, I feel guilty and beat myself up… I don’t like being an impatient person! 

What did you pick? The idea of this technique is to identify it as a behavior rather than a characteristic of your personality. Instead of labeling myself impatient, I say “I act impatient.” Doing that allows me to examine situations and external pressures that test my patience. I can identify patterns and see where I get impatient, like when we’re getting ready to leave the house as a family. Then, just like a workout plan, I can come up with strategies and techniques to promote a different outcome and a change in behavior. 

It feels pretty hard to change my personality, but changing my behavior seems possible. In the words of Michael White and David Epston, “The problem is the problem, the person is not the problem.” 

Medium Level of Effort
This one is adopted from the Unique Outcomes Technique and might take a bit more time to try out. Start by considering a recent event. It may be something positive, or something you’re not very proud of. You’re going to write a story of that event, but in the third person.

Before you start writing, develop a different persona. This is the perspective you’ll use to write the story. If it an event you wish had been different, adopt a more compassionate persona. If it was a positive event, adopt the persona of a fan or someone that is an admirer. Now, write out the story of that event from your adopted persona’s perspective. 

I remember years ago I had a friend who was sharing a story about their 8 year old daughter. She had caught her kissing a boy. Her first reaction was shock and worry that her daughter was experimenting too early or being too aggressive with boys or would be talked about by other kids. As she was telling the story and sharing her concerns, another friend and parent commented on how sweet it was that she was emulating her parents loving relationships (which they had). I realized how easily a situation can be viewed from very different perspectives. 
There is no right or wrong way to view situations, but personally, I want to try and view life in a positive light. I think our tendency is to view others positively and compassionately, but then view ourselves negatively and harshly. Reviewing an event from a different perspective can be empowering.

Hard. Get Ready to Dig In
The Life Story Technique is probably more of a project, but definitely interesting. From the article, 19 Narrative Therapy Techniques (https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/narrative-therapy/), this is the quick outline of the Life Story Technique.

• First, you write the title of the book that is your life. Maybe it is simply “Monica’s Life Story,” or something more reflective of the themes you see in your life, like “Monica: A Story of Perseverance.”
• In the next section, come up with at least seven chapter titles, each one representing a significant stage or event in your life. Once you have the chapter title, come up with one sentence that sums up the chapter. For example, your chapter title could be “Awkward and Uncertain” and the description may read “My teenage years were dominated by a sense of uncertainty and confusion in a family of seven.”
• Next, you will consider your final chapter and add a description of your life in the future. What will you do in the future? Where will you go, and who will you be? This is where you get to flex your predictive muscles.
• Finally, the last step is to add to your chapters as necessary to put together a comprehensive story of your life.

Examples
If you’d like an example of narrative therapy in action, read the book “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.” (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400202981) This is an enjoyable read and might give you ideas on how you can actively write the story of your life.

Writing these emails helps me reflect on my own life. I recently had someone not follow through on what they said they’d do. I was mad and I was hurt. As I talked about it with a few of the other parties, I said, “Well, I hope they at least realize the opportunity they lost so they don’t make the same decision in the future.”  I was thinking about them.

But, as I am writing this week’s email, I realize it isn’t about them learning something. I need to process my own hurt and try to get some value out of it. I’m not sure what that looks like, yet, but I know it will involve some of these techniques. When we can gain perspective and move outside the emotions, we are able to see life lessons, gain value, and make our own story richer. 

Speaking of Stories
I’ve got some great ones coming up in my personal life. I am taking a vacation with my wife and my 2 sons (50% of my children). It is a great opportunity and we’ve talked a bit about what we want out of the trip. I’m looking forward to writing a great chapter in the story of our relationship with each other and in our adventure log. I hope to be able to share some with you, also.
Regardless of where you’re at in your own story, visualize the ending you want and start a new chapter today! Start simple, on a Sunday, and make Monday awesome!

Brian