Let’s Wade In, Just a Little
The latest Netflix hit is Bird Box, featuring Sandra Bullock wearing a blindfold so the evil spirits (or whatever they are) don’t make her lose control and die. While the 9-sided symbol and the intertwined complexity of the enneagram may be a little intimidating, I assure you it is worth taking off the blindfold and exploring it even just a little. This week’s work of trying to understand the enneagram wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve tackled, but I’ve made a little headway. I hope you stick with me on this and are able to take a few things away, and maybe even some new hope on your personal aspirations.
General Overview
The enneagram of personality, further referred to as just the enneagram, is a model of personality types. If you did the MBTI and read some of those descriptions, you probably found them pretty accurate and targeted; the description of your MBTI type matched you. The enneagram personality types are a little less accessible. The nine personality types of the enneagram are interconnected and you’ll likely identify with more than one and maybe even several of them. You’ll see parts of yourself in all of them and, because of this, it might feel too generic to be practical, or too esoteric to want to dive in deeper.
However, I consider the enneagram a dynamic personality model. Not sure that’s an accurate term, but I’m going with it. What I mean is that it is most useful when practically and actively applied. It isn’t static and what you’re doing or what you’re using it for will impact how you understand the model. As one site mentioned, the enneagram doesn’t put you in a box, it shows you how to get out of your box. So, in order to start to make sense of it, you’ll have to try and use it a little bit.
First, try and determine which of the nine types is your primary personality type. Some will hold that this is the type you were born with. There are tests you can take, some free and some paid. Or, you can just read through the descriptions of the nine types and determine which best fits you. If you can’t settle on just one, go ahead and pick one to work with and try it out, see how it fits.
The tests are useful for helping narrow things down, but even they aren’t definitive. I found that trying testing out one type in more detail was helpful to determine if it was really my primary type. Amanda and I took the paid version (research, you know) and both of us rated high in three different types. My highest rated type was a 9, second and third were 6 and 8. After reading through the descriptions carefully and thinking about it, I am pretty settled that I’m a 6.
Second, determine your wing. This is important so you can say cool stuff like, “I’m a 6 with a 7 wing” at the next party. More importantly, I found trying to figure out my wing was a useful exercise in itself. What is a wing, you ask? It is a personality type that influences your primary type.
So, once you have your primary type, look to the numbers to the left and right of it. For me, it is 5 or 7. One of those types is likely a stronger influence on your primary type than the other. I actually went and tried to figure out my wing as I was exploring if I was really a 9. I read and contemplated the descriptions for 8 and 1 to see how they influenced my personality. They didn’t really resonate with me. When I read the description for 7, it spoke loudly and helped reassure me that 6 was my primary type.
Okay, at this point you’re probably ready to read through descriptions of the nine types and start seeing where you fit. Here are a couple resources you can go to now. Read through some descriptions, think about it a bit, but then come back and finish the article!
- This site isn’t the easiest to read, but has good summaries:
http://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram.html - This one provides a summary paragraph for each type and then you can click for more details: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/introduction
So Many Details! Stay Centered.
The enneagram has three groups, or centers, generally considered the Body (types 8, 9, 1), the Heart (types 2, 3, 4) and the Head (types 5, 6, 7). I think of the centers as generalizations for the three personality types they include. This may be simplifying it quite a bit, but generalizing the personality type groups (i.e. centers) might be helpful. I think it will be easier to remember some of the characteristics of the center (i.e. Head center = anger and fear issues) in the heat of the moment, as opposed to specific details of my personality type. This is still an area that needs exploration on my end.
The lines within the enneagram have meaning, too. They are directions our personality can move depending on the situation. Understanding those can open up insight for growth. Essentially, there are directions of growth and directions of stress. For example, as a 6, I can move to a 3 and take on those characteristics, but it will cause some stress on the system. This isn’t always bad, but needs to be managed since it isn’t my core personality type. I can also grow and adopt some of the traits of the 9, which is more “let things go” and can be healthy for me, unless I let it devolve to laziness.
It Isn’t Either/Or
One of the concepts of the enneagram is “levels of development.” Essentially, there are healthy levels of our personality and unhealthy levels; it is a spectrum. This is an important concept to understand about ourselves, our kids, our partners, and even those we work with. With my personality type (6), I want safety and security. As a healthy six, I’m trusting and open, wanting to provide safety and security to others. As an unhealthy six, I’m suspicious and sarcastic, looking to protect myself. It is similar to calling someone stubborn or determined… when focused in a healthy manner, someone can be determined and inspiring. When unhealthy, they can be stubborn and deflating.
We are so conditioned to think bad or good; right or wrong; this or that. But, sometimes it is a matter of perspective. What personality trait of yours comes to mind that you label negatively, but could be considered very positive when applied right?
Why the Enneagram is Useful
I have only scraped the surface of this and, given the complexity and wealth of information out there, might have butchered a lot of well-developed concepts. Nevertheless, my conclusion is that this model, more than the others I’ve seen, has ongoing value for personal development. For example, one of the traits of a 6 is that we have a consistent inner dialog that drives a lot of our indecisiveness and insecurity. I’ve learned there is real value for me in spending time trying to recognize and analyze the internal voice, not just listen to it and get anxious about the worries it is telling me. That piece of insight is something I can take action on, try out, and see how it affects me over time.
Action Item
I know it is a lot, and probably not quite as fun as the MBTI. You’ve read this far, though, so take a few more minutes and see if you can’t pick a personality type that fits you best. Maybe even pick your wing. Some of you have heard of the enneagram before; but, if you haven’t, I predict you’ll now start recognizing other places it is being used and hear others talking about it.
If you want to dive a bit deeper in, but are feeling a bit lost of how to start, try using it in a practical way. Reflect on a specific situation in the recent past that you felt could have gone better. Maybe it is one you had at work or with your partner. Think through it and see if you can identify how your personality expressed itself in that interaction and how you responded. Look at the paths to stress and growth and see if there were aspects of that personality type manifested in your responses, or things you could have accessed to have a different outcome. Think about things you might do to develop healthier versions of your traits and recognize when a similar situation might arise again so that you can try things out.
For Me
I’m hoping to spend more time with this, so you may see this come up in future posts. Now that we’ve spent some time looking at ourselves and understanding our personalities, I want to investigate how to practically apply that to our relationships and communication with others. Still figuring out which direction to head with that for next week, but hope you’ll stay with me.
As always, thank you for reading. Until next time!
Some articles for further reading
- https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/
- https://www.growthmarketingpro.com/enneagram-personality-test/
- http://www.artofwellbeing.com/2017/11/01/enneagramofpersonality/
- https://www.enneagramworldwide.com/tour-the-nine-types/
- https://www.integrative9.com/enneagram/centers/
- https://theenneagramatwork.com/relationship-tips-for-the-nine-types/
- http://buildingastorybrand.com/episode-42/
- This is a great marketing and leadership podcast. This episode was using the enneagram in leadership